It Is OK Not To Feel OK
Dear me,
I am feeling constantly on edge, anxious and uncontrollable tears run down my cheeks. It is ok. This only makes me human. I am human enough to feel disappointed, shattered and hopeless. It is ok. As human limitations are unknown. Allah is the knower of tomorrow and if only I was shown the full picture, I might not feel hopeless!
To trust in Allah as the doer and undoer of my plans is critical to forge ahead. At times of difficulty, that trust is challenging to have; that too is ok. To deny yourself of fully immersing in your emotions only ever perpetuates it; so Alhamdullilah that I feel this rotten. Alhamdullilah that I am unable to sleep; Alhamdullilah that my heart is having a massage and my patience tested to its fullest! Alhamdullilah that I can try and fight to carry myself through to perform my daily fard prayers even if half-hearted and very heartbroken.
At least I have an avenue to vent my emotions; I can ask Allah why and paradoxically ask for relief. Because Allah has assured us that with every difficulty there is relief. Some flicker of hope which might wedge between giving up and trying again.
I planned to be somewhere today; I am not there and don’t hope ever being there unless Allah creates a way. I have also approached my GP for pharmacological help; I believe with that and my taqwa, I will find the strength to start again.
Allahu A’alam. Allah is the knower of all things and to Him be the Glory in all things good or bad. Bi ithni Allah. With the permission of Allah.
Masalam
You’ve touched my heart today sis. So beautifully woven the psychological angst with spiritual relief. Most of the time, I’ve become accustomed to hearing our spiritual/religious beliefs being used against us/those battling mental illness. How wonderfully did you just show us how to support ourselves/those who suffer in this way, using our deen. Thank you so much! May Allah reward you immensely.
JazakaAllah sis. May our deen always remain a source of hope and not despair to us. Ameen.
Accepting my struggle as part of my test in this duniya enabled me to persevere.
May Allah make it easy for you.
Thank you for this, have been feeling down and a bit lost but this has really helped put things in focus, little reminders like this I am so grateful for Alhamdullilah
May Allah grant you relief and guidance.
Alhamduillah, Sis this is a master piece coin in faith (Islamically beliefs). Jazah Allahu khair
JazakaAllah brother.
Inshallah allah will get you through this difficult time, it is okay not to always feel ok. We are human and created as imperfect beings and without our moments of difficulty who knows if we will turn to allah. Be patient and he is all hearing and all knowing. There is a light which only comes from him.
You are an amazing human who is capable of anything with the help of allah.
You will never suffer alone with allah by your side as he is closer than your jugular vein.
Ameen. May Allah never abandon us in times of need.
JazakaAllah