How do I look after myself? Honestly, I don’t know if I do, or even if I do, is it proactively supporting my well-being. Regardless, looking after myself was and is a journey in figuring out who I am and what my needs are, and in turn, this journey led me to the day that I found God.
Now reductive in it’s a remark, finding solace isn’t an activity you pick up over the period of 24 hours, however, it was through numerous events that I came to the conclusion of how I could look after myself best. I, even to this day, am a very passionate individual. I passionately love and I passionately get distressed and I passionately invest myself in everything… But my self.
And in turn when I looked to friends, family and even Netflix to passionately be a means for my care, or when I tried to self-medicate through the relationships in my life, I always felt dissatisfied. I always felt like I was the more passionate aspect of any dynamic I shared with either a person or situation.
Once I realized this didn’t work for me, I turned to introspection. In doing so I came to the conclusion that I had to be the one that was in control of my life. How disillusioned I was. How could I control my emotions, and situation when I couldn’t control my urge to use the bathroom or eat the cheeky chocolate muffin.
It was truly when I felt the most helpless that I realized, that all I had to do was raise my hands up and surrender. Not to the expectations people had of me, or to societies expectations. All I had to do, was surrender and leave my care to God. That is the day I asked God, that as he allowed my heart to beat and my eyes to see and my mind to think – He could help me use that same heart to stop feeling that deep pitted fear, or my eyes to be consumed by the superficiality of a capitalist society (I’m a politics student) and my mind to handle and appreciate the strains of university, work, and campaigns.
The day I found God was the day I surrendered and realized that it is through His mercy that I was being taken care of. So that’s how I take care of myself. It changes from conversation to commodity, but all are a reflection of His mercy towards me.
One reply on “The Day I Found God”
Praise God. We need to have more of this which in days is hard to fight.
Your surrender to The Almighty unfortunately is now common in this times we live.
I have found His Mercy and Gracious unlimited Love, so realising , beyond my understating.
When I found to share my experience and revelation of is Good work, is those who claim to have faith. I have used this a motivation to get to know HIM and only Him better. I can never leave .
THANK FOR COURAGE TO SHARE AND WILL KEEP PRAYING FOR YOU